What can I say except, Moana 2 sucks

Well, this is perhaps the most disappointing review I’ve had to write all year.

Fresh off the AI monstrosity that was Wish and the disappointment of A Strange World, Disney was looking for a clean slate of form in its animation department. A wave to wash their sins away and a new horizon to drift into.

How could they possibly return to the glory days of Disney animation and sail clear from the awful run of half-baked Disney+ exclusives?

If your answer was to take a six-episode streaming services series and chop it down into a 100-minute movie because MONEY, then you too could be a Disney producer because that is exactly what they did with Moana 2.

Moana 2 (aka Moana: The Series before it was chopped to bits) follows the title character after accepting leadership on her island, Motunui. While searching the seas in hopes of finding other tribes to communicate and trade with, Moana receives a vision from her ancestors, tasking her with locating the malicious storm god Nalo and stopping him from doing (checks notes) something …

OK, there’s no sugarcoating this, but this movie is an absolute mess and a shell of the film that came before it.

The first was a tale of empowerment against the backdrop of Polynesian culture, which is not seen too often in high-budget movies. The soundtrack was iconic, and the characters were beyond relatable. All of this culminated in it becoming the most-watched movie of the last decade, according to streaming data. So, where did Moana 2 go wrong?

First, as previously mentioned, this movie was originally pitched as a TV show for Disney+ and it is clear to see.

Instead of having six or eight 30-45 minute episodes as originally planned, a decision made midway through production by Disney CEO Bob Iger meant that the studio had to stitch what they had planned into a feature-length film.

This results in the film offering so much exposition to set up a lot of differing plot points, none of which get resolved properly. Characters who are meant to be important get glossed over completely, and the set-up that should have been an episode of TV is dialled back to only a couple of minutes.

The entire movie feels like a re-cap video that you’d watch on YouTube or a highlights package of a sporting event. Sure, you get all the stuff that matters, but there’s no context, no built-up emotion, just a bunch of brief introductions and then payoffs with nothing in between.

It doesn’t help that it feels like a complete re-tread of the original film, too, just with a few extra characters thrown in, none of which I can remember the names of.

Moana must travel to an island to stop a god from destroying her people with the help of the demi-god Maui and a few animal companions. Sound familiar? That’s because it’s the plot of the first movie.

The music also doesn’t hit as hard. When you think of the first film, you think of hits like How Far I’ll Go, You’re Welcome, Shiny and a bunch of other bangers that I’m not afraid of playing in the office from time to time. Instead, the songs in this feel lifeless and boring. I honestly can’t remember a single chorus or melody to save my life.

This is partially because musical writer and actor Lin Manuel-Miranda wasn’t brought back for the sequel. While I’m not the biggest fan of his voice, I can’t deny the man can write catchy tunes. Look at anything from Hamilton, Encanto or In The Heights for proof.

All these factors culminated in creating a real hodge-podge of ‘meh’ that hit me like a gut punch of disappointment.

I know a few people reading this will be saying, “Stop overthinking it. It’s a kid’s movie!” And to that I say, treat kids with respect!

Good movies and movies for kids aren’t mutually exclusive. Inside Out 2, The Wild Robot and even Transformers One all provided fun times for kids while also being well-written, broadcasting mature themes, and being pretty to look at.

Aside from a couple of good performances by Auli’i Cravalho as Moana and Dwayne Johnson as Maui (who felt like he was written in after the draft was already settled on) and some solid animation, Moana 2 doesn’t stack up to other animated movies released this year.

It pains me to say, but Moana 2 isn’t the return to form Disney’s animated department was looking for.

Moana 2 is currently showing in cinemas across the country.

Original Article published by Jarryd Rowley on Riotact.