Traverse Alpine Group owner Rosy Seaton celebrates another record fundraising effort to support Betty’s Place with Yes Unlimited CEO Di Glover. Photo: Jessie Neale.
To save women we need to help men, came the clarion call from survivor and domestic violence campaigner Simone O’Brien during the annual pre-Mother’s Day lunch for Albury women’s refuge Betty’s Place.
A welcome return speaker to the (8 May) event organised by Traverse Alpine Group owner Rosy Seaton, Simone roused 250 (mainly women) guests to raise a record-breaking $220,000 to help finalise the new core and cluster accommodation for women and children fleeing family and domestic violence in this region.
Lighting a single candle to represent those lives lost and with a rolling screen listing the names and ages of 79 women and 27 children killed last year, Simone revisited the story of the horrific domestic violence attack that saw her beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat in her own bedroom in 2012.
The attack that left her with a shattered skull, now held together with screws and titanium plates, the loss of her eyesight in one eye, her sense of smell, and physical and psychological scars Simone and her three children will carry for the rest of their lives.
What it did not rob her of is the will to live – now fuelled by an unwavering resolve to champion non-violence against women and children.
As she spoke in front of tables filled with flowers and finely dressed women (and a handful of men) at the Mirambeena Community Centre, Simone reminded those gathered that the responsibility to say no and to call out violence rests with every single one of us.
“Every little red flag is a big red flag,” she stated firmly, starting her address with a poignant poem, I Got Flowers Today.
“This could have been me, it should have been me, I shouldn’t be standing here speaking to you and doing what I’m doing,” she said. “But I’m doing it because we need to save our next generations from the domestic violence crisis our nation is in.”
For Simone, what started with little lies, insults and stolen money had ended with her young children brought in to the hospital to say goodbye to a smashed up figure that bore no resemblance to their mother … of her young son, crying and vomiting in the corridor insisting, “That’s not my mummy in there!”
During a powerful slide show, which included graphic images of the extent of the injuries she had suffered, Simone shared a raw account of life after that attack, which saw her perpetrator sentenced to 15 years’ jail for attempted murder but now, frighteningly, eligible for parole in September 2029.
And she reminded those gathered that sitting at the tables in that room, there would be at least one woman among them affected by domestic violence in some way.
“You are probably looking around your table thinking, ‘No there’s not, no there’s not’. But there will be, whether that be a friend or someone else. One in three (women) over the age of 16 are impacted on a daily basis. They are the stats.”
But hope is also a word that has become part of Simone’s journey.
She spoke proudly of her work in schools, with men’s behaviour change programs and campaigning for Clare’s Law, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme giving you the right to know if your partner has an abusive past.
Her mission is to see domestic violence education embedded as firmly into the school curriculum as English and maths.
She ran the New York Marathon to prove “my never-give-up attitude”.
“I did survive that night,” she said. “I went from the brink of death to this …”
Yes Unlimited CEO Di Glover said she felt humbled by Friday’s final fundraising figure, which eclipsed last year’s $140,000 tally and marked another herculean effort by “generous philanthropist” Rosy Seaton and her team over the event’s seven-year history.
The redeveloped Betty’s Place, set to open shortly, will include seven self-contained units with a range of on-site staff and supports designed to provide safety and independence to women and children fleeing domestic violence.
Di said funds raised from the lunch would be used to help finish off what was an incredibly important place of refuge and hope.
“I’m so proud of what we have with this facility – it really honours the women and children, and gives them something special,” she said.
“But we still need to fully fit it out – it’s things like furnishing the kids’ play area, putting computers in the study area, towels, some cultural items that just make the place feel a little bit more welcoming.”
As wine glasses chinked and auction items were snapped up in a fun-filled buzz of bidding, it was clear Simone’s quiet strength and bravery had roared loudly.
Her take-home message – for both the men and women present – was to learn to love yourself.
“I’ve had to do that – I’ve learned to love myself,” she said.
“I know I will never look the same as all you beautiful women here today. I can’t even smell the beautiful candles that have been donated on the tables …
“But we’ve all got daughters, nieces, sisters or grand-daughters, aunties, mums, the list goes on and this is why we’re here today.”
After 52 harrowing surgeries (with two more to go, including a major jaw reconstruction), Simone says she’s learned to rock many weird and wonderful hairdos.
“I’ve learned your hair grows back, your nails grow back,” Simone said.
“It doesn’t matter if you are in a situation where you think, ‘Oh, I’ve got to cover that up’ … don’t cover it up, get help and speak about it because there is life after domestic violence.”
To find out more about the fundraising efforts, visit Facebook.
Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; Men’s Referral Service 1300 776 491; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; beyondblue 1300 224 636; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732.
