Imagine a dark cloud looming over your head, casting a constant shadow of doubt and fear – dampening your spirit and shrouding every facet of your existence.
This is how Nic Steepe felt while suffering in silence, putting on a facade to mask a sense of isolation, fear and confusion.
“If people could see it physically – having a black cloud over my head – I think they would have more empathy for those struggling with mental health,” Nic said.
“During high school, I always felt the need to put on a facade, to be the class clown, to be overly outgoing and extroverted, funny and likable – to compensate for the whirlwind of emotions I experienced daily.
“It was so tiring to wear such a mask all the time.”
Today (10 October) is World Mental Health Day and as part of this year’s theme, ”Making Meaningful Connections”, Nic shared their journey from darkness to embracing self compassion and self care.
Born and raised in regional NSW, the 30-year-old struggled with their sexuality while juggling the challenges of moving out of home, schoolwork and working part-time.
This led Nic to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, including self-harm.
As a teen, Nic had a small group of friends but feared confiding in them about their struggles, believing they would distance themselves.
“I now know this is not the case,” Nic said.
A pivotal moment came during Nic’s teenage years when teachers noticed signs of distress and suggested getting help from a school counsellor.
The then-15-year-old eventually confided in two empathetic teachers after initially resisting the idea of needing help.
“I resisted and said I was tired all the time,” Nic said.
“They said, ‘We think you might benefit from seeing the school counsellor.’
“It’s become easier for me now to ask for help.”
As a social worker passionate about regional inclusion, mental health and diversity, Nic said the self-care journey had been about discovering what worked best for them as an individual.
“Self compassion and self care have played an extremely important role in my journey,” Nic said.
“Every day I realise how important self care is and ensure it is prioritised. As cliché as it may sound, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
“Having self compassion is about checking in with ourselves regularly, recognising the signs when our mental health might be declining, and being proactive about utilising strategies and tools to help.”
When Nic was in a negative headspace, people often recommended exercise.
“But I’m too precious to do cardio; it’s the devil. However, I discovered aerials a few years ago, which is like exercise, but a lot more fun,” Nic said.
“It reminds me of playing on the monkey bars at primary school.”
Nic now attends several classes weekly, including acrobatics, Lyra (hoop), pole, and handstands at the Zana Aerial Dance Academy in Wagga.
The aerialist found a safe, inclusive, encouraging, and supportive environment at the dance studio.
This has set out a new path, leading Nic to perform at community events and mini-showcases.
Nic encourages those feeling trapped by their mental health struggles to seek help.
“My experiences have made me more resilient and have led me to encourage others to get help, prioritize self care, and nurture meaningful connections in their lives,” they said.
“It is scary, but try to find the person who suits you best because not every counsellor, GP, or professional will click with you.”
Nic added that Tones and I‘s music played a massive role in their healing journey and is looking forward to her show in Wagga this weekend.
“Music is a big part of performance and creativity, especially in expressing myself through aerials, and Tones and I‘s music has been a massive part of that,” Nic said.
The performer is excited about Zana Aerial Dance Academy’s upcoming end-of-year showcase at Wagga Wagga Civic Theatre on 9 November.
If you or someone you know needs help, you can contact:
Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis support line – 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467
Kids Helpline – 1800 551 800 or kidshelpline.com.au
MensLine Australia – 1300 789 978 or mensline.org.au.