Who loves us the most? Syam's insight into our final 1000 days is a reminder of what matters

“Who loves us the most?” asked Wagga’s Syam Mohan as he opened his TEDx Griffith talk, The First and Last 1000 Days.

“We spend hours on social media looking for connections to make our lives more meaningful. Yet – what if the most meaningful connections are right in front of us?”

The Riverina health worker and father of two explained that 2019 was a landmark year in his life that spawned a unique perspective that he is now sharing with a global audience.

“I was navigating my own personal journey, as my baby boy was born and at the same time I started a new job helping elders transition into aged care as a clinical nurse consultant,” Syam said.

“Balancing these two experiences – caring for those in their twilight years and embracing the joy of new life – profoundly shaped my perspective on life, connection and purpose.

“With babies through these important first 1000 days, we celebrate everything and almost every single day is a ceremony where we are taking photos, visiting family and all sorts of new things, but when somebody is at the other end of that spectrum, it’s different.”

Armed with this insight, and working closely with hundreds of Wagga’s elderly residents, Syam saw that many of them had deep emotional needs that were not being met during a challenging time of transition into their final home.

“I tell the story of a lady named Betty who sat every day in her home and looked through the window and that the window was everything for her,” he said.

“When her husband Jack died, and Betty was on her own, every morning she would dress up and sit close to her window.

“She had seen her kids playing and growing up, and her grandkids growing through there, and the biggest pain for her in moving was taking her from that window.”

The length of time that a resident will remain in a nursing home is around two years, and Syam said that it is a clear sign that they are in their last 1000 days.

“I have had a chance to speak to over 2000 people in their final days before they leave the world, and I have asked, ‘What would you have done differently?'” he said.

“They would say that – ‘I would have spent more time with my family and I would have kept them a little bit closer.'”

Syam’s simple message of caring for our elders and meeting their emotional needs in the same way that we do with our children has resonated with thousands of people around the world.

“In their last thousand days, they don’t need money, they don’t need any other pleasures, but what everyone craves for is that emotional connection,” he said.

“I think that we all know this, but we are all busy and running around and I wonder if we are providing that.

“Something as simple as a phone call would make a big difference or sending a photo or a video updating them, include them and keeping them in the loop.

“They have done their part, helping us grow up and building our lives, and now they need help and care.”

Syam’s full talk is now available through TEDxGriffith on YouTube.